Life has been quiet here at the compound. I have taken up vacuuming as my new hobby. Rukia sheds considerably more, but Kiba’s hair makes me sneeze, so it’s a loss both ways.

After Cameron fixed the hole in the fence, the dogs…promptly found another hole in the fence and went to visit the neighbors again. I’m not sure how Rukia squeezed her massive frame through the hole, but she did manage it.

This past weekend we decided to have a doggy play date (because that’s what millennials without kids do these days) and Lesley (and Matt) brought Murray over. Murray is basically a giant oversized version of Kiba, with more energy, more speed, and significantly more balls. [Maybe? I think both of them collectively have zero balls. More metaphorical balls. We were roasting hot dogs over a backyard fire and Murray would walk calmly up behind someone trying to add mustard and snarf the hot dog straight out from under their hands before they knew it. He repeated this…maybe twelve times.] At any rate, they all enjoyed chasing each other around the back yard at breakneck speed for four straight hours.

It was kind’ve a toasty day, so we filled up the kiddy pool with water so the dogs could splash around like maniacs, which they did.

In “which dog is dumber” scorecasting (now that Meaghan has admitted they are both idiots) they are still both so excited at the concept of a large back yard that it completely outweighs anything else, including using the facilities. I typically wake up first and have had them with me, so I take them out around 7:30. Kiba goes kiting around the yard at Mach 2 and inevitably trees a squirrel and then tries to climb the tree. Rukia waits to make sure I actually come outside (if I don’t, she’ll just sit there staring at the door). So out I go, watching them both like a hawk to make sure they actually will pee.

Rukia will first, sometimes, and then she’ll go over, find a stick, and began chewing it up and eating it. Kiba has finally forgotten about the squirrel and has moved on to nibbling at grass. I stop them both and demand they both pee, but usually, Kiba refuses, and we go back inside for a few minutes so their brains reset, then back out a second time. This is only occasionally successful, which is why the other day I found out that one of them had peed (on the puppy pad) AND dropped a deuce (not on the puppy pad) in the dining room.

This was annoying, so I put them both in their crates, cleaned everything up, and took them both outside – where they BOTH IMMEDIATELY TOOK MASSIVE SHITS, just to spite me.