Sorry to play coy with you, but the background won’t be happening this episode, either. Today was longer and fuller than expected (TWSS), so it’ll be pushed by at least a day, maybe two. Luckily, the rest of the week will involve minimal travel and really nothing happening, thank Cthulhu. affording me plenty of time to write.

March 2nd dawned on schedule, and after packing up, I went in search of the continental breakfast, which despite being prolifically advertised online and in person had been canceled in favor of a coffee pot, 10 pastries, and shrink-wrapped undersized Red Delicious apples, the Dane Cook of apples. I like to leave Yelp reviews of places I visit, so I put together some quick thoughts:

I like using Yelp. It makes me feel like a responsible citizen, either helping educate others, or at least making their day slightly more surreal.

From there, it was a quick visit to Office Depot to print out the WA DOL’s instructions about expired licenses to carry with you. In their wisdom, they have helpfully left off any type of official-looking letterhead or really anything that would make this piece of paper look like it was not something personally I typed up and printed off my own computer. Still, it’s probably better than nothing, and the lady at Office Depot even let me have the two copies for free! She did warn me the next time I would have to pay the full $2.50 minimum for making copies, which is adorable, since I’m never visiting this Office Depot again, I have dozens of available email addresses, and I laugh at your paltry sums.

I stopped briefly at Fred Meyer to pick up a few odds and ends I’d forgotten, as well as a small tripod for my iPhone and a large-volume microSD card for the dashcam I’d recently installed – footage coming soon – and set off due south. There was a moment of mild terror at the signs for the inspection checkpoint where all vehicles must stop, and I pictured myself getting turned around and rejected from California before I even entered. However, the helpful attendant was only interested in whether I was transporting agriculture, not licenses, and I was quickly waved through.

After 2.5 hours I arrived at Lake Shasta, and proceeded immediately to the Caverns. Access to the Caverns is on a peninsula that may as well be an island, so the first step is a trip across Lake Shasta.

We met the guides, Pinky and Cave Dave, and proceeded directly across at a good clip. The tour group totaled me and two teenagers from Utah. Apparently it’s the off-season. Once you arrive on the peninsula, a tour bus takes you up a narrow and terrifying winding road to the cave entrance, six hundred feet or so up the side of the mountain.

Once you’re there, and inside the cave…there are more stairs.

Outside of the stairs, the tour was excellent.

Inside the caves it’s ~90% humidity, so as amazing as they are, there really is nothing better than when you step outside at the end of the tour and get to see Lake Shasta in all her glory.

Seriously, if you’re in the area, give the caves a shot, you won’t regret it.

I have books, you can buy them on Amazon.